Category: Webfoot Weblog

Hello, my name is Goose, Mr Goose and I am a splendid goose, not a naughty bendy goose. This is my journal of goosy wisdom.It is my attempt at making the world a better place by generally complaining about things.

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Jealous of Microsoft’s Success?

Couple of folks have sent messages to my pond suggesting that all the nasty things that people say about Microsoft are purely motivated by jealousy. “…so many people just hate a successful company!” said one such response on a forum that I honk on from time to time.

Well, I can’t speak for anyone else but my views have nothing to do with hatred of Microsoft’s success. But I do dislike the dubious methods that were deployed to achieve this success. But that pales into insignificance when one considers Microsoft’s paradigm of total indifference to its customer’s security c/w it’s pathetic mantra of security through obscurity:-

Example: COFEE (sic – just one “F”). This is a USB stick Microsoft has flogged to over 2,000 “law enforcement” officers in 15 countries around the planet which basically makes any Windows PC completely defenceless to those using the tools. Microsoft won’t say who else has access to COFEE. But you can bet your bottom dollar it will only be a short while before all the relevant code is in the hands of hackers and cybercriminals – if it isn’t already:-

The only folks who won’t be informed regarding how it works or told how to defend against it are… yes you guessed it… Microsoft’s customers!

Also has anyone noticed how Microsoft’s “Malicious Software Removal Tool” has become a “Malicious Software Reporting Tool“. With an estimated 450 Million users, this must make it the biggest backdoor trojan of all times! Check this out:-

Still if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear! Or so we are led to believe.

Don’t have nightmares! Honk! Honk!

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Where do you want to collect your dole today?

This will certainly be the year of bad news for the corporate sector. After the massive bailout of the banks at the taxpayers’ expense on both sides of “The Pond”, the US Government is attempting a bailout of its ailing car industry, with Ford, General Motors and Chrysler being given a share of a $17.4 billion hand out – again from the taxpayers’ already depleted pockets.

Now it seems even the mighty Microsoft is falling on hard times. OK, I have no great love for Microsoft. IMHO to me it typifies all that is wrong with corporate America. It’s big, greedy, uses unethical business practices to kill its competition, whilst locking its punters into a succession of overpriced, poor quality products. But one has to feel sympathy for the estimated 15,000 employees that are rumoured to be scheduled for the boot later this month. After all, I thought that frequent booting was purely for Microsoft’s hapless customers, not its staff, surely?

Up till now, Microsoft staff have been led to believe everything was all rosy and that Microsoft was really a hip, fab, groovy, going-places sort of company. Seems many really bought into the Microsoft American dream. Now 17% of its staff could be sold down the river. Because, as we in the open source community have known for some time, Micro$haft is in fact a hideous, greedy dinosaur that is just as happy to crap on its own staff as it has done for many years on its customers.

First we crap on our customers. Now we crap on our staff. Micro$haft! Where do you want to collect your dole today?

References:-

Interesting to see if there are any plans to bail out Micro$haft at the taxpayers’ expense, eh? Best wishes, G.

Honk! Honk!

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Why we cannot trust the Government with our data

The British Government has an appalling record with regard to mishandling it’s citizens private data. Yet it is hell-bent on forging ahead with the compulsory introduction of electronic identity cards.  But how bad is the problem? Well, our Government is losing and our confidential data all the time. The following is not a script for “Spooks” or some made-up conspiracy theory. This is fact. Moreover, these are just the cases the Government admits to. And only covers the last 12 months…

2008 November, Government UK Gateway passwords lost on memory stick in a pub car park

A memory stick – holding passwords for a government computer system – was found in the car park of a pub in Staffordshire. The Gateway website gives access to services including tax returns and child benefits. The memory stick was lost by an employee of a subcontractor called Atos Origin.

2008 October, Ministry of Defence “loses” details of 100,000 service personnel

A computer hard drive containing the personal details of about 100,000 of the Armed Forces was reported missing during an audit carried out by IT contractor EDS. It is thought to contain more than 1.5 million pieces of information, possibly unencrypted, including the details of 600,000 potential recruits, a small amount of information about bank details, passport numbers, addresses, dates of birth, driving licence details and telephone numbers. The Ministry of Defence police are investigating the disappearance but we don’t know whether it was lost or stolen.

2008 September. 5,000 justice staff personal details lost on portable hard drive

The government confirmed that a portable hard drive holding details of up to 5,000 employees of the justice system was lost in July 2007. The details of employees of the National Offender Management Service in England and Wales, including prison staff, were lost by a private firm, EDS. Officials only realised the data was missing in July of this year. Justice Secretary Jack Straw launched an inquiry.

2008 August. Data about 84,000 criminals lost on a memory stick

Home Office contractor PA Consulting admitted losing a computer memory stick containing information on all 84,000 prisoners in England and Wales. It also held personal details of about 10,000 prolific offenders. The Home Office suspended the transfer of all further data to the private firm pending the outcome of an investigation.

2008 July. Ministry of defence declares 121 memory sticks and 747 laptops lost or stolen

The Ministry of Defence confirmed that 121 computer memory sticks and more than twice as many laptops than previously thought have been lost or stolen in the past four years. Armed Forces Minister Bob Ainsworth gave a written statement to parliament saying 121 USB memory devices had gone astray – five of which contained secret data. And in a parliamentary written answer, Defence Secretary Des Browne said 747 laptops had been stolen – 400 more than originally reported. Of those, only 32 have been recovered so far.

2008 June. Secret terrorist documents left on train

A senior intelligence officer from the Cabinet Office was suspended after documents were left on the seat of commuter train from London Waterloo. A passenger later handed them to the BBC. The seven-page file, classified as “UK Top Secret”, contained a report entitled “Al-Qaeda Vulnerabilities” and an assessment of the state of Iraq’s security forces. Cabinet Minister Ed Miliband said there had been a “clear breach” of security rules, which forbid the removal of such documents from government premises. But Mr Miliband claimed national security was “not at risk”. Two inquiries – one by the Cabinet Office, the other by the Metropolitan Police – have been launched.

2008 April. Army Captain’s laptop left at McDonalds

An army captain’s laptop was taken from under his chair as he filled his face in a McDonald’s, near the Ministry of Defence’s Whitehall headquarters. The MoD said the data on the laptop was not sensitive, and was fully encrypted. This is the latest MoD laptop theft to be made public and it came after the government tightened the rules on employees taking computers out of work. Whitehall staff are now banned from taking unencrypted laptops or drives containing personal data outside secured office premises.

2008 January. Laptop containing details of military recruits stolen from car

A laptop computer belonging to a Royal Navy officer was stolen from car in Edgbaston, Birmingham. It contained the personal details of 600,000 people who had expressed an interest in, or applied to join, the Royal Navy, Royal Marines and the RAF. It contained data including passport numbers, National Insurance numbers and bank details. Defence Secretary Des Browne later admitted the inquiry into the loss of the Royal Navy officer’s laptop uncovered two similar thefts since 2005. At the time, Dr Liam Fox, shadow defence secretary, said 68 MoD laptops had been stolen in 2007, 66 in 2006, 40 in 2005 and 173 in 2004.

2007 December. Three million UK driving test candidates details lost in the USA

The details of three million candidates for the UK driving theory test went missing in the USA. Names, addresses and phone numbers – but no financial information – were among the details stored on a computer hard drive, which belonged to a contractor working for the Driving Standards Agency. The information was sent electronically to contractor Pearson Driving Assessments in Iowa and the hard drive was then sent to another state before being brought back to Iowa, where it went missing. Ministers said the information had been formatted specifically to meet the security requirements of Pearson Driving Assessments and was not “readily usable or accessible” by third parties.

2007 November. Two hard disks containing 25 million Child Benefit records lost

HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC) lost two computer discs containing the entire child benefit records, including the personal details of 25 million people – covering 7.25 million families overall. The two discs contained the names, addresses, dates of birth and bank account details of people who received child benefit. They also included National Insurance numbers. They were sent via internal mail from HMRC in Washington, north-east England, to the National Audit Office in London on 2007-10-18  by a junior official. But it never arrived.

Source: BBC

Now, I don’t know about you folks but I would not trust these people with my personal data. In fact I wouldn’t trust them to sit the right way on a toilet!

Honk! Honk!

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Global political and economic theory explained by two cows…

Variants of this have been doing the rounds for some years now. This is my updated version, especially for all those good, quiet, little geese out there in Internetland who are permanently baffled by human politics & economics…

Socialism

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

Communism

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucracy

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

Conventional Capitalism

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron-style Venture Capitalism

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank.

Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a company in the Cayman Islands.

This company is secretly owned by the majority shareholder.

He sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option buy one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.

Obviously no balance sheet is provided because it has been shredded.

The taxpaying public then buys your bull.

American corporation

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire an expensive consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

French corporation

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot and block the roads, because you think you deserve three cows.

Japanese corporation

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon‘ and merchandise it ruthlessly worldwide.

German corporation

You have two cows.

You genetically re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

Italian corporation

You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

Russian corporation

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and find you have 42 cows.

You count them again and discover that you only have 2 cows after all.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Swiss corporation

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

Dutch corporation

You have two cows.

You want to make them happy.

You let them smoke some grass.

Chinese corporation

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest all journalists who report anything different.

Indian corporation

You have two cows.

You worship them.

Iraqi corporation

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so the Americans bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy!

Australian corporation

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

It’s a nice day.

You close the office early and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Hungarian corporation

You have two cows.

They both become very depressed and commit suicide.

New Zealand corporation

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.

British corporation

You have two cows.

Both are mad.

Surrealism

i.e. corporate policy after a hectic team-building weekend in Amsterdam…

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Honk! Honk!

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UK Government’s dubious DNA collection plan twarted by European Court

Seems likely that UK police forces will have to delete the DNA records of hundreds of thousands of innocent people – all of whom have no criminal convictions. The European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg ruled today that retaining this data breaches human rights law. The Court said that keeping innocent people’s DNA records on a criminal database breaches Article Eight of the Human Rights Convention, covering the right to of privacy and family life. Apparently the British Government has until 2009 March to decide what it is going to do. Currently, UK Police forces keep a staggering 4 million people’s DNA patterns on computer.

Of course some sceptical observers believe that police will keep the data anyway and threaten any whistle-blowers with prosecution under data-protection / secrecy / privacy laws. And if the coppers cock it up, get caught-out and the 5hit really hits the fan, then the Government will deny all knowledge and the whole thing will be blamed on (yet another) computer error.

Obviously no one wants rapists and criminals wandering the streets. However, I doubt that collecting lots of innocent people’s DNA would ever significantly reduce their numbers. Moreover, it seems to me that our biggest threat is not the criminal, or the terrorist. It is in fact our own Government.

Our Government has conned us into accepting curtailment of our civil liberties as part of its war on terror, involved us in an illegal and hugely expensive war in Iraq, based almost entirely on falsified evidence and it has repeatedly proved itself incapable of handling our sensitive personal data in a safe and responsible manner.

Now this Government is trying to force us to carry electronic ID cards, supported by the same incompetent private companies behind so many of its other expensive IT failures. Worse, these cards will not merely carry biometric and other sensitive data that we will not be able to access ourselves (unless we hack them), the cards will also be enable the authorities to identify us remotely as we walk through public places.

Of course, there are some that argue that if the Government mismanages ID cards in the same way it has mismanaged so many other publicly-funded IT projects, then these ID cards would actually be quite a boon for criminals and terrorists. If these cards are hacked, cracked or cloned then your personal information and even your personal identity could be available on the black market to the highest bidder, in a highly credible format.

Seriously scary stuff IMHO.

Honk! Honk!

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Dawn of a new age or the same old piss in a different shaped bottle?

I’m not a huge fan of political celebrations. Nevertheless, I have to say I was actually quite moved by last night’s goings on over there on the other side of the pond. It’s not just the obvious: USA ‘s 44th president being a black man and the signal that ends out to the rest of the planet. Don’t forget that before the changes forced by the Civil Rights movement in the 1960’s, some states did not even allow black people to vote! And it’s end of the Bush dynasty and a massive poke in the eye for the the appalling Republican neo-cons who enabled “Dubbya” to rule over the most inept and corrupt administration the USA has ever suffered.

I was also very taken with the conciliatory nature and graciousness of both John McCains concession speech and of Barack Obama’s acceptance speech. I felt both men actually displayed great dignity and wisdom – and I am not exactly a big fan of politicians. It was also quite reassuring in an age when one could be forgiven for thinking that democracy is dead, to see the massive turnout and how many young Americans actually took part.

Obviously the devil is in the detail and many observers suggest this will probably be the shortest election honeymoon period in history. But for now, I’ll suspend my usual scepticism and disbelief and wish all concerned all the best in what some have described as “America’s Mandela moment”.

Honk! Honk!

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Storm in a teacup or worst financial crisis since 1929?

Failed financial institutions. Click for more info.

Anyone who follows the news can’t have missed the current economic gloom:-

The US Senate just agreed George Bush’s $700 BILLION bailout for failed Wall Street financial institutions – though Congress actually rejected the plan on Monday. Similar rescue plans are afoot all over the planet. But should the taxpayer be bailing out the fat cats – giving them a so-called golden parachute made out of our hard earned cash? Or is that the price we have to pay? Will it work anyway? Trouble is it seems the banks no longer trust each other, so why should we trust them?

I think we should be talking less about bail and more about jail for those responsible for this monumental cock-up. But who is to blame? George Bush? Gordon Brown? Greedy bastards in Wall Street & London’s “Square Mile”? Or perhaps our “leaders” are correct and we should blame the “great unwashed”, for borrowing more than they can afford to pay back? Fortunately, I can’t borrow any money even if I wanted to because UK banks don’t lend to geese.

Anyway, what are good quiet little geese like me supposed to do next? Sit tight, with our heads in the sand and our wings up our big, white, feathery bottoms, hoping for the best? Or perhaps should we pawn everything we own, spend our last few quid on a handful of gold Krugerrands and head for the hills?

And if all this isn’t depressing enough then check this out:-

Honk! Honk!

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Egg on face for Micro$haft CEO, compliments of irate Budapest student

I’m not really a fan of violent protest. But in this incident, I think the Hungarian egg terrorist deserves a medal. It took place in Budapest, Hungary on 2008-05-19. Note the way the egg thrower just wanders off after the event. Also note the caption on the back of his shirt: “Microsoft = Corruption”

Seems this young man wants Monkey-Boy-Ballmer to return the 25 billion Hungarian forints Micro$haft has extracted from the Hungarian people for its overpriced but under-performing products. Indeed, Hungarians, like many other computer users around the planet have a lot of reasons to be severely displeased with Micro$haft. For example, Charlie Barcza:-

http://www.garfnet.org.uk/joomla/content/view/118/57/

Mind you, with a target as large as Ballmer, this Hungarian guy must have been a rotten shot! Or perhaps the eggs were formatted with Vista? Or perhaps he should use goose eggs next time. They are bigger! 🙂

Honk! Honk!

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Recession depression

Interesting that folks this side of the pond are starting to talk in terms of recession. The situation really is very worrying indeed. Home repossessions have doubled, paid work is becoming harder to find and I think there is much worse to come. There are number of very serious contributing factors in my view:-

  • The sub-prime lending fiasco – people lent far more money than they could afford to pay back.
  • Big banks no longer trusting each other and unwilling to lend money to one another. This inter-bank lending is what lubricates the wheels of free-market capitalism. If it dries up then basically we are buggered.
  • A totally decimated industrial base. What do we actually make here in the UK? Bugger all.
  • UK and the United States having economies that are tied together too closely. If Washington sneezes we catch the flu.
  • UK (& US) wasting billions of dollars on a long, drawn-out and utterly pointless foreign war. I still don’t understand how Blair got away with this. The guy should be standing trial for war crimes, not swanning about as Middle East Envoy.
  • The Iraq war has also resulted in oil-price-instability and hence a massive hike in raw energy costs.

What seems to be forgotten is that wars cost money. This money and this has to come from somewhere. It has already cost the US three trillion dollars. Our Government won’t actually tell us what it’s cost. I suspect it doesn’t know how much it has cost!

Finally, I think these national current account figures make particularly depressing reading. Note the three countries way down at the bottom – i.e. those with the biggest national debt – are the United Kingdom, Spain & United States. Remember, these are also the three major players in the Iraq fiasco:-

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2187rank.html

And remember these are the CIA’s own figures!

We are really in the poo methinks…